Harvard Business School Professor: How to Become More Confident, Influential, and Communicate Better

Today's episode is going to completely change the way you think about every conversation you've been too afraid to have. Ever wonder why your relationships feel surface level, even after years? Why you feel lonely, even when you're surrounded by people? Why you say “I’m fine,” even when you’re not? Why some people earn trust instantly, while you struggle to be taken seriously? Harvard Business School’s Dr. Leslie K. John, a behavioral scientist who has spent decades studying honesty, trust, privacy, regret, and decision-making, is here to teach you the answer – and it's not what you think. In today’s episode, you will learn the surprising science of honesty, vulnerability, and human connection. Her research has found why the things you don't say are quietly hurting your health, your relationships, and your career – and exactly what to do about it. For years, the advice has been: don't overshare, at work or with friends. Keep things private. But decades of Harvard research say that advice is backwards. Dr. John's findings are shocking, and reveal that the real problem, the one deepening loneliness and costing you the career and connections you want, is undersharing. In this episode, you’ll learn that 89% of people would choose to work with, trust, and hire someone who reveals something difficult, even something unflattering, over someone who stays quiet. That keeping secrets doesn't just feel heavy. Research shows it lowers cognitive performance, IQ, and is linked to measurable declines in physical health. That one of the most common deathbed regrets is “I wish I had shared my feelings more.” That you can use The Disclosure Matrix, which is the exact decision-making tool Dr. John teaches at Harvard Business School, so you always know when to speak up and when to stay quiet. And, you’ll learn the 2-sentence framework that makes any hard conversation easier to start. If you've ever held something back because you didn't want to make things awkward, said "I'm fine" when you weren't, or wished your relationships felt deeper and more honest, this episode will change the way you communicate forever. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. Get Dr. John's book Revealing here. If you liked the episode, check out this one next: Stanford Luck Researcher: How to Manifest the Life You Want Connect with Mel: Get Pure Genius Protein Get Mel’s newsletter, packed with tools, coaching, and inspiration. Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram Mel's TikTok Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.