Why Being Right Is Costing You Trust | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 4

Everyone says they want more accountability at work… yet few of us think we're the ones who need to learn how to be more accountable. Most of us believe we already know how to own a mistake. We've all said sorry and truly meant it. But meaning it and doing it well are two very different things. And when we’re the first to apologize, we model to everyone around us how cathartic accountability can be. Feelings at Work is a special five-part series from A Bit of Optimism, where Simon Sinek and Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop, explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations. In this episode, Simon and Alex take on accountability: why owning a mistake can feel like losing, why taking credit and dodging blame come from the same place, and what a real repair actually looks like. You'll discover why owning your part doesn't mean admitting you were wrong, why the confidence to say, "I got that wrong," is what actually makes people follow you, and how to repair something in a way that genuinely clears a pathway forward. Simon and Alex share practical tools like the "wheelie bag" rule for separating intent from impact, the two-part formula that turns an empty gesture into apologies people can actually feel, Alex's practice of "micro-accountability" for owning small things before they accumulate, and the one word that quietly cancels everything you said before it. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why saying you're sorry doesn't mean you're wrong ➡️ The two-part apology formula: what you actually did + the impact it had ➡️ How to name someone's hurt + leave room to be corrected ➡️ "Micro-accountability": owning the small stuff before it turns into the big stuff ➡️ Why people who take too much credit are the same people who dodge blame ➡️ What real confidence actually looks like ➡️ How to receive an apology and why refusing it is its own kind of failure ➡️ Why being uncoachable is the biggest problem at work ➡️ How to ask people to build the fix with you Whether you're leading a team, rebuilding trust with a colleague, or still quietly replaying an argument from three years ago, accountability is one of the most healing skills you can develop. And remember: owning your part is a gift you give the other person AND you give yourself. This... is A Bit of Optimism. + + + CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Why Nobody Thinks They Need to Learn How to Apologize 00:05:49 The Wheelie Bag Philosophy: What Saying Sorry Actually Means 00:08:52 Why People Who Take Too Much Credit Can't Handle Blame 00:10:15 Blame Culture: Why Our First Instinct Is Always to Point Fingers 00:13:37 The Difference Between Being Wrong and Taking Accountability 00:17:34 The Catharsis of Apologizing: Relief for Both Sides 00:24:04 The Leader Who Gives All Credit and Takes All Blame 00:27:55 The Anatomy of a Real Apology: Recognition Plus Impact 00:30:19 When Guessing the Impact Goes Wrong 00:33:46 Repair In Real-Time With Micro-Accountability 00:35:17 The Three-Part Apology That Finally Landed 00:41:06 How to Receive an Apology Without Twisting the Knife 00:43:18 When Sorry Isn't Enough Without Behavioral Change 00:46:16 When You Can't Just Fix It: Asking for Help With Repair 00:49:57 Why We All Think We Already Know How to Apologize 00:51:10 Accountability Is the Gateway to Trust + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek + + + About Alex Simon Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't. She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun. When she was 27, Alex created The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice, one of Yale's most sought-after courses. In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world. Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.